For My Daughter, or Saudade

In Panama last year,

We made a friend

Who made a dress.

A beautiful purple dress

For a little girl.

We bought the dress,

Not because we have a daughter,

Nor are we expecting to,

But because it was beautiful,

And we wanted to help out.

I still look at the dress

And think it’s beautiful,

But there are times

When I lift it up and

Feel it’s delicate weight

In my hands and

Suddenly, a wave washes over me.

Sadness, Happiness, Longing.

Saudade.

I miss my daughter,

But she doesn’t exist.

I look for her,

But she doesn’t exist.

I love her,

But she doesn’t exist

And maybe never will.

I have to quickly drop the dress

And look away.

I breathe and shake my hands

Until the feeling passes.

How powerful is love,

That it reaches through time?

How deep is sadness,

That it cannot?

© Tyler M Deal. All Rights Reserved.

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